I'm not going to lie and say this has been fun. It hasn't. As of today I've been on a liquid diet for 23 days, and I'm more than ready to have some REAL food...I wanna CHEW! I've never looked forward to pureed food, but here I am salivating over all the goodies I'm gonna throw in the food processor next week. I've found some great bariatric websites and some yummy recipes I can't wait to try out! Yes...I'm going to COOK!!
So here's a few of my biggest issues:
Things taste weird. I'll be honest...I had a nibble of mashed potatoes tonight and they tasted off somehow. Things smell funny. I can't explain it. I don't know if it's the new addition of protein to my diet. I've always been a carb girl, so all this protein is new to me. And the protein I'm getting is not meat or beans...it's all liquid. And don't get me started on the dry packaged proteins. VOMIT! Can't do it. Ick! Yuck! Give me Atkins protein shakes til I can get my hands on some tuna and fish.
Gas pains. Sorry, but it has to be said. Gas is a problem. No, I'm not a burping and tooting machine. Gross...although my boys would think it's HILARIOUS! It's more just gas bubbles that get stuck and cause horrible pain in my side and in my shoulder. I'll either figure out how to get it out or live with it. We'll see.
I'm still hungry. The LapBand does not turn off the head hunger. And the small amounts of "food" I'm allowed don't satisfy me and won't until I get my first fill. I still want to eat foods. I've learned that if I'm going to go out to eat and can only drink my protein shake, I need to have a little soup or something before I go to quieten the head hunger voices. If I go eat when I'm at the "give me food or I will rip your head off" stage, it's too late. I'm going to get emotional. Once I start drinking my shake, I'm good. It really does satisfy me. But I do have to be careful on how hungry I allow myself to get.
What have I done? Yes...I've had this thought on more than one occasion. What have I done? What do you mean I can't cheat and have just this piece of pizza? Or some gumbo? Or even a SALAD?!?!? Yeah, I've panicked...and then I got over it. LOL!
Okay...so here are the good things:
I'm sleeping better than I was before. It's amazing how bad I slept after a night of gorging on Taco Bell or Jack in the Box or Casa Ole. I can't even begin to explain the difference.
Heartburn? What heartburn? Again...I lived on fast food and grease. It's amazing I have an esophagus left! Gone. No more Tums for me!
What do I do with all this money??? Do you realize that I was spending approximately $25 A DAY on fast food?!?! I pulled up my bank account and estimate that I was probably spending about $150 A WEEK on junk food. I am so embarrassed to even type that. Seriously. And then b/c I was just getting fatter, I would go shopping. I figured if I dressed better, no one would notice. HA! So all the shopping for clothes for me has been cut off indefinitely. I have an obscene amount of clothes ranging 3 sizes that I can work my way down to. No need for anything new at the moment.
So...this is where I stand. As of today, after being on a liquid diet for 23 days, I've lost almost 17 pounds. Yes, that's great, but I still have a long road ahead of me. And from what I've heard, once I start adding real food to my diet, I will gain about 5 back, so I need to really prepare myself for that. I have my postop visit with Dr. Dean on the 26th. A few more weeks and I'll be able to really start a workout. I'm looking forward to that honestly. Short skirts and tank tops...here I come!:)
BTW -- went to Sonic the other day after a 3 week absence to get Peggy a Diet Coke. I told Peggy I'm shocked they haven't called to check on me and ask where I've been. Carhop comes out, I roll down the window, she says, "Girrrl! Where have you been?!?! Didn't see you this morning!!" Oh. Em. Gee. Peggy bust in a fit of giggles and I wanted to crawl under my seat. To make it worse, the car hop says, "You haven't been here to get your cheese sticks or your breakfast burrito!" Yeah...she knows my 2 orders by heart. Time to be best buds with the people at the gym instead of the carhop at Sonic.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
The last 36 hours
I love all of you!! I have been absolutely overwhelmed by the support and well wishes and prayers! I'm so glad I decided to share this with all of you rather than keep it all bottled up.
Tuesday morning started out like any other. Got up, did hair and makeup and got the boys up and ready for the day. Then my parents took me to the Outpatient Center in Beaumont. I wasn't nervous, until I walked in and checked in. That was when I started the second guessing. But thanks to all my friends and the text messages and facebook messages, I knew I could do this.
First and foremost, I have to say that my nurses were AMAZING! Friendly, upbeat, caring, I could go on and on. Everything was going great when I got to my little cubby hole, until the nurse tried to start the IV. The vein she was trying wasn't working and of course I got nauseous and had a slight fainting spell. It was no biggie to me once I came out of it, but the news made the rounds and every nurse and doc that came in after that had a comment to make. LOL!
Dr. Dean came in and met my family and lectured them about how they are not to impede my process. He explained to them that I would be eating slowly and not eating much, and that in no way means I'm depressed and they should offer me M&Ms and ice cream. I knew right then I had made the right choice in doctors. He cared about my success. I wasn't just another paycheck to him, I was going to be one of his success stories.
The anesthesiologist came in and told me once he gave me the Versed, I wouldn't remember ever leaving the cubby hole. He was right! I don't remember anything after that except for a recovery nurse making me open my eyes and look at her. Once I did that, I closed my eyes and passed back out. I didn't really wake up until about 4 or 4:30. My surgery was at 10 AM so that was a long time to be out, especially when I had been told I would probably be out of there by 3. My parents were told that when I got back to the operating room, I became nervous and fidgety so they gave me more Versed, that's why I was out for so long. I have absolutely NO recollection of this whatsoever and am so curious as to what I said or did. YIKES!
Finally at about 5:30, I was packed up and heading down to the car. My nurse gave me a big hug when she got me in the car and told me I had to come back in a few months so they could see the new me. I won't, but she was just so sweet to be excited for me and this process. I was just so ready to be home. I had some dry heaving spells on the way home, which is NOT good with this operation, but I think they forgot to give me the anti-nausea meds. I got those as soon as I got home and haven't had any issues since then.
My parents have been amazing! My mom is a nervous wreck with giving me the narcotics, but I'm already weaning myself off those. Coby Bear has not been pleased with this whole situation. Last night he was okay b/c I was passed out in the recliner and he was confused. Today when he got home from daycare, I was sitting on the couch and came running in and tried to scramble up on my lap. My parents both pulled him off and the screaming began. My mom held him and he screamed, "LAP! LAP!" while pointing at me. I felt horrible! But I know this is just a short while, and then we'll be back to normal. I asked Chaston if I looked skinnier and he laughed and said "Oh yeah, you do! Wow!" LOL!
I'm still in recovery and in some pain (mainly from the gas YUCK), so I can't say right now that I'm thrilled that I did this. I will have to report that in a couple of months. All I kept thinking last night was, "I PAID someone to do this to me?!?!" And I told my dad that my dream tummy tuck just might not ever happen. It will be much more painful than this and I'm just not ready for that.
Okay...that's all I have the energy for right now. Can't wait for my mom to get home from church...I want a Popsicle.
Tuesday morning started out like any other. Got up, did hair and makeup and got the boys up and ready for the day. Then my parents took me to the Outpatient Center in Beaumont. I wasn't nervous, until I walked in and checked in. That was when I started the second guessing. But thanks to all my friends and the text messages and facebook messages, I knew I could do this.
First and foremost, I have to say that my nurses were AMAZING! Friendly, upbeat, caring, I could go on and on. Everything was going great when I got to my little cubby hole, until the nurse tried to start the IV. The vein she was trying wasn't working and of course I got nauseous and had a slight fainting spell. It was no biggie to me once I came out of it, but the news made the rounds and every nurse and doc that came in after that had a comment to make. LOL!
Dr. Dean came in and met my family and lectured them about how they are not to impede my process. He explained to them that I would be eating slowly and not eating much, and that in no way means I'm depressed and they should offer me M&Ms and ice cream. I knew right then I had made the right choice in doctors. He cared about my success. I wasn't just another paycheck to him, I was going to be one of his success stories.
The anesthesiologist came in and told me once he gave me the Versed, I wouldn't remember ever leaving the cubby hole. He was right! I don't remember anything after that except for a recovery nurse making me open my eyes and look at her. Once I did that, I closed my eyes and passed back out. I didn't really wake up until about 4 or 4:30. My surgery was at 10 AM so that was a long time to be out, especially when I had been told I would probably be out of there by 3. My parents were told that when I got back to the operating room, I became nervous and fidgety so they gave me more Versed, that's why I was out for so long. I have absolutely NO recollection of this whatsoever and am so curious as to what I said or did. YIKES!
Finally at about 5:30, I was packed up and heading down to the car. My nurse gave me a big hug when she got me in the car and told me I had to come back in a few months so they could see the new me. I won't, but she was just so sweet to be excited for me and this process. I was just so ready to be home. I had some dry heaving spells on the way home, which is NOT good with this operation, but I think they forgot to give me the anti-nausea meds. I got those as soon as I got home and haven't had any issues since then.
My parents have been amazing! My mom is a nervous wreck with giving me the narcotics, but I'm already weaning myself off those. Coby Bear has not been pleased with this whole situation. Last night he was okay b/c I was passed out in the recliner and he was confused. Today when he got home from daycare, I was sitting on the couch and came running in and tried to scramble up on my lap. My parents both pulled him off and the screaming began. My mom held him and he screamed, "LAP! LAP!" while pointing at me. I felt horrible! But I know this is just a short while, and then we'll be back to normal. I asked Chaston if I looked skinnier and he laughed and said "Oh yeah, you do! Wow!" LOL!
I'm still in recovery and in some pain (mainly from the gas YUCK), so I can't say right now that I'm thrilled that I did this. I will have to report that in a couple of months. All I kept thinking last night was, "I PAID someone to do this to me?!?!" And I told my dad that my dream tummy tuck just might not ever happen. It will be much more painful than this and I'm just not ready for that.
Okay...that's all I have the energy for right now. Can't wait for my mom to get home from church...I want a Popsicle.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
The Beginning -- I'M SO EXCITED!
A friend of mine challenged me to start blogging about my journey, but the real challenge came when she told me to keep it POSITIVE and no WHINING. YIKES!! This WILL be a challenge, but I'll try. Plus, I've been getting quite a few questions on Facebook about why I'm doing a liquid diet, so I thought I'd try to answer those questions here.
This summer Chaston and I made our annual trip to Splashtown for some Mom and son fun. After climbing up the thousands of steps on just 2 rides, I was pooped and couldn't do anymore. I could barely breathe by the time we got to the top. He wouldn't ride the slides by himself, so we spent the rest of the afternoon lounging in the wave pool, sitting on our behinds. I felt HORRIBLE! We still had fun, but it just wasn't the same. Because my out of shape bootie couldn't climb up the stairs, he suffered.
So of course, I came home and pulled out my Nutrisystem foods I'd saved from earlier this year, and just the thought of swallowing another one made me literally gag. So I did Weight Watchers and lost nothing. This sent me back to the "Fat Doctor" for shots and pills. Nothing.
So I started looking into the Lap Band. I kept this quiet for some time b/c I feared people's reactions: It's the easy way out, it's for lazy people, you'll never lose weight on that, etc. So I talked to the one person that would tell me the truth -- my mom. Her response? "I'm surprised you haven't looked into this sooner." Once I had her support, I knew I was going to do this.
After several months of dealing with the insurance company (who would not qualify me since I didn't have any other problems such as diabetes, high blood pressure or sleep apnea), consults, meetings with dietician, clinical director, surgeon, even a Licensed Professional Counselor, on January 12th I will be heading to St. E's outpatient center to have Lab Band surgery.
I started my 14 day full liquid pre-op diet on Tuesday (I'm on day 5 right now). It's been tough, especially on the weekend when everything revolves around eating. But so far I have been successful, with only a little whining here and there. Then there's a 6 week process of weaning back to solid food. Again, not an easy thing to do. I will have 6 months membership to the Wellness Center and 5 free meetings with a personal trainer to help me start my exercise journey. They also have great support group meetings once a month that I fully plan to be a regular member of. It's going to be great!
I have been pleasantly surprised with the outpouring of support I've receive from family and friends. I've met people that are several years out from their surgery, and have come across several people that are on the same path as myself. It's great to have a support group, and this couldn't be done without all of them...and all of you reading this.
I have about 100 pounds to lose (as you can tell by the pic included in this post), and have been told it could be accomplished in about a year. It will be quite the journey, but I plan on using this blog to pour out my feelings. I'm not they type to hide this. I'm not going to lose 100 pounds and lie about how I did it. Plus I need to write my feelings...makes me feel better. :)
I WILL SUCCEED!
This summer Chaston and I made our annual trip to Splashtown for some Mom and son fun. After climbing up the thousands of steps on just 2 rides, I was pooped and couldn't do anymore. I could barely breathe by the time we got to the top. He wouldn't ride the slides by himself, so we spent the rest of the afternoon lounging in the wave pool, sitting on our behinds. I felt HORRIBLE! We still had fun, but it just wasn't the same. Because my out of shape bootie couldn't climb up the stairs, he suffered.
So of course, I came home and pulled out my Nutrisystem foods I'd saved from earlier this year, and just the thought of swallowing another one made me literally gag. So I did Weight Watchers and lost nothing. This sent me back to the "Fat Doctor" for shots and pills. Nothing.
So I started looking into the Lap Band. I kept this quiet for some time b/c I feared people's reactions: It's the easy way out, it's for lazy people, you'll never lose weight on that, etc. So I talked to the one person that would tell me the truth -- my mom. Her response? "I'm surprised you haven't looked into this sooner." Once I had her support, I knew I was going to do this.
After several months of dealing with the insurance company (who would not qualify me since I didn't have any other problems such as diabetes, high blood pressure or sleep apnea), consults, meetings with dietician, clinical director, surgeon, even a Licensed Professional Counselor, on January 12th I will be heading to St. E's outpatient center to have Lab Band surgery.
I started my 14 day full liquid pre-op diet on Tuesday (I'm on day 5 right now). It's been tough, especially on the weekend when everything revolves around eating. But so far I have been successful, with only a little whining here and there. Then there's a 6 week process of weaning back to solid food. Again, not an easy thing to do. I will have 6 months membership to the Wellness Center and 5 free meetings with a personal trainer to help me start my exercise journey. They also have great support group meetings once a month that I fully plan to be a regular member of. It's going to be great!
I have been pleasantly surprised with the outpouring of support I've receive from family and friends. I've met people that are several years out from their surgery, and have come across several people that are on the same path as myself. It's great to have a support group, and this couldn't be done without all of them...and all of you reading this.
I have about 100 pounds to lose (as you can tell by the pic included in this post), and have been told it could be accomplished in about a year. It will be quite the journey, but I plan on using this blog to pour out my feelings. I'm not they type to hide this. I'm not going to lose 100 pounds and lie about how I did it. Plus I need to write my feelings...makes me feel better. :)
I WILL SUCCEED!
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