So I guess I need to update on the Upper GI I had done. Wasn't too painful, other than the part they made me drink something super fizzy and told me I couldn't burp. Ugh! That part wasn't nice. But I was told that officially my band was too tight. There didn't seem to be a slip or swelling, just general tightness. So I called the Bariatric Center and they were great about getting me right in so I didn't have to make another trip to Beaumont. Dr. Schrapps took out 1 full cc and gave me a script for Nexium. Ahhh....sweet relief. Unfortunately, I've gained about 20 pounds in the past year or so. Eh, whatever.
The other really bad thing...I've officially become addicted to ice cream. Don't believe me?? There's plenty of studies and articles out there to back up this theory...just google it.
Sooooo...I've been doing alot of internal reflection and have just about come to terms with who I am. There have been two times in my adult life that I have been a size 12.
Once was back when I was about 20. I was working full time and going to school full time. I lived off pretzels from the vending machine at school and little snack packs of fat free caramel popcorn we sold where I worked. Then I would get home at about 11 PM and head straight to the track for my 2 mile walk.
The other time in my life I was a size 12 was just a couple of years ago. And if we all need to be reminded on how I got there.... http://stoppingtherollercoasterride.blogspot.com/2010/12/ugh.html Throwing up every single thing that crossed my lips...including my own spit sometimes...well, that's just not all that fun, is it?
So now I'm a size 16...and I have to wonder, is eating about 500 calories a day or throwing up all the time really the sacrifice I want to make to be a size 12? Hmmm...I just don't think so. I have been teaching/leading a class of some pretty wonderful ladies from church and the title of the study is: You're Already Amazing. Wow...you mean I don't have to be a size 12 or smaller to be amazing? I can be a great mom, a good employee, an awesome friend, and a child of the King and not be "model" thin...what a concept!!
Now I have no intention of just losing control and going "hog" wild from here on out. I actually like what I see in the mirror right now, and feel comfortable. But I don't want to be completely unhealthy. The ice cream needs to stop. The candy needs to stop. Yes, I need to get outside and get more active. I do need to stay healthy. But the self hatred is over. You see this body of mine? It's a temple of the Lord. He gave this to me...I'm just blessed to have more square footage than some of you other temples out there. LOL!!!
I love some of the things I have come to realize over the past few months about myself. I hear myself sharing encouragement with my friends, and I am learning to apply those same things to myself. It's been quite the trip actually. It only took me 30+ years to get here.
And for those of you that are reading this that might be looking for weight loss or lap band tips, well I just don't have them for you today. What I do want to offer you is that God has created you for amazing things...not to wear low rise skinny jeans. Now it's up to you to get out there and find out what God's purpose is for you. And keep your head up...you are ALREADY AMAZING!!!!
