fair

I get that God didn't promise us life would be fair...but just once, maybe...just MAYBE something could go our way. Maybe...

Addiction

It's been rough lately. Take tonight for instance...I had 1 baby carrot, 1 bite of broccoli/cheese casserole, 1 shrimp, and 2 bites of tilapia. That's it. And I feel like I could puke! This morning I opened my refrigerator door and had 5 boxes of leftovers. I go out to eat and can't eat 1/3 of my meal...and then I get super super ticked off. At first I found this funny, that I would get mad when I got full. I mean, this is what I paid for right? What I wasn't prepared for was the actual emotions I would have when I can't eat.

So I've been checking out my lapband.com message board and it seems to be a common issue. Yes, I am a food addict. I am addicted to something that is not only legal, it is necessary to sustain my life. It's like telling an alcoholic, he must drink every day, but ONLY 1 tiny sip four or five times a day. It seems a bit drastic to compare my food issues to something so life altering as being an alcoholic. But this is seriously how I feel and what I am dealing with on a daily basis. One of the things offered to us bandsters is a monthly support group meeting, but I have yet to go. I have to find someone to talk to about this. Someone that would understand what I'm dealing with.

Again, you may think I'm being melodramatic, but this mental thing I'm going through has not been fun.

I have lost nothing in about a month. Still not working out, still have all the excuses and all the stress and all the laziness.