18 years ago

My first born is about to be a bona fide adult. In the legal term of course. I don't know if I would send him out in the world just yet. Plus he's made it clear that Coby will probably grow up and move out before he does. Yeah, he knows he's got it good. When I think back over the past 18 years, I'm just so blessed. But God knew what he was doing, even though at the time we weren't so sure.


18 years and 8 months ago, a plus sign (not an "X" that means negative, Ashley Grey!) turned my world upside down. I had to make the hardest phone call of my life. I had to tell my parents that I was pregnant. I wasn't married. I wasn't financially secure. Heck, I was just barely old enough to vote. And during my second month off at college, I have to call my minister daddy and devout Christian mom, and tell them their teenage daughter was going to have a baby. I waited for the screaming and yelling and crying. If that happened, I never witnessed it. My dad calmly said, "Ok, we'll get through this." And we did.


I was terrified...at that moment, not of being a mom, but of judgment. What would my parents think of me? What would my friends think of me? What would my church think of me? You know what they thought? They thought, "We love this girl. We don't know why this happened, but it is in God's plan. We will forgive her and we will embrace her and her child."


18 years and 5 months ago, after my first semester at college ended, I made another big decision. I would not get married. There was a little shock at this decision, but not by mom. I could hear her sigh of relief. She knew that we would be okay and the support continued.


18 years and 4 months ago, I went back to college. I grew over the semester and a desk without a chair attached had to be brought in. Thanks to an especially boring History class, I doodled a lot and decided on the perfect name for my bundle. I finished the semester with just a few weeks to spare. If I was going to be able to provide for this little "pearl" I had to get my education. I was not going to change my course of action, he would just have to go along for the ride.


18 years and 1 day ago, I went to bed a pregnant teenager. I woke up bright and early in the morning, physically knowing this was the day I was going to meet my Chaston Dane and become a mom. Sure enough, June 12, 1997, 10:44 PM he made his rocket fast appearance. So fast, he hit a couple speed bumps on the way out and had a nice knot on his head that didn't recede until he was about 6 weeks old.


For 18 years, I have been a mom. And I have loved (almost) every minute of it. I was made to be a mom, I didn't know it then...but I know now. And I got to raise Chaston. Life just doesn't get much better than that!


Where can I even start to explain the awesomeness that is Chaston Dane Miller? He was born to a teenage mom, in a "broken" home (I use this term lightly, because by my standards our home was far from broken...in fact it's pretty awesome), and not without some drama. But most people don't know some of the struggles we've had. Because of the support of my parents, our friends, and especially our church and pastor...Chaston has beaten the odds. He is smart, he is funny, he is a natural leader, he is gifted, he is talented, he is an amazing big brother, he smells like a rotting gym sock, he can't clean his room or put dirty dishes in the dishwasher. And I absolutely, unashamedly adore him.


Single parenting is not a breeze. There have been moments of panic as I wonder how in the world am I going to do this? I can't do this! I need help!


I have my parents to thank for helping me to make it look easy. They do more for me than any husband could ever imagine doing. My dad has been an amazing father figure and coach. My mom has helped him with countless hours of homework and costume creating. They have been his cheerleader sitting right next to me, or sending me play by play texts when I'm unable to make a game or event. They have hugged us and let us cry when life got tough, and have been there to celebrate the many great times.


Chaston was born 18 minutes ago, not 18 years ago. Until you have children of your own (and yes, my animal parents, you count as having children), you can't understand how fast time flies by. One minute I'm changing diapers, watching Pre-K graduation, crying over timed math facts tests....the next minute, we're scheduling senior pics and getting ready for prom. Savor every moment, the good ones and the bad, help your child learn from any life experience. They might not thank you now, but they will. Chaston is learning this quickly as he grows up. Leave wet clothes in the washing machine for 4 days and they start to smell, especially after a cycle in the dryer. I pointed this out as he was getting dressed and he couldn't understand why they smelled so bad. He asked if I knew those clothes had been in there. Yep. He got quiet...a few minutes later he said, "A good mom would have moved the clothes to the dryer 3 days ago. But now I realize a GREAT mom would help me to learn a lesson." BAM!!! They get it folks!! You just have to have patience and love them and teach them.


Psalm 127:3 says: Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.


I have been rewarded this young man, even in my sin, but have also been tasked with raising him for the Lord. I'm responsible for raising God's child...just a little daunting. Thank God for Grace, right? We aren't perfect, but He knows I try. Chaston has a yearning to work in the ministry, and every day that I see him live for the Lord I see the pearl in the sandstorm and know that God knew exactly what He was doing....18 years ago.